


Like Father, Like Son

by 4depthoflove



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Major Illness, Post 513, Reunion Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 12:35:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3650553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4depthoflove/pseuds/4depthoflove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>3 years after Justin left to take the NY art world by storm, Brian and Justin encounter each other during a crisis with the one person, other than each other, that really rocks their world, their son Gus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Couldn't Stay Away

**Author's Note:**

> Story Notes:  
> this story was originally supposed to be a one-shot, and then grew too long, and so I split it up into a few chapters

Gus is sick - Brian and Justin both rush to their son's bedside...

 

Justin ran through the airport, his stomach in knots of worry and his mind reeling with all the thoughts tumbling through his mind. He grabbed his luggage without pausing even briefly to check it, and ran outside to hail a cab.

Only 5 hours earlier, Lindsay had reached him on his cell phone, although it was all he could do to understand what she was trying to tell him through the hysterical sobs he heard clearly coming through the line. Gus was in the hospital, he had a high fever that they could not explain, and he was neither coherent nor out of danger.

In the 3 years since he had moved to New York, he had flown at least once a month to see this precious boy who meant the world to him. He had met him for the first time on the same night he met his father, and that was one memory that would never be erased. Hell, he had even chosen the baby's name, and in the months that followed had often watched him when Mel and Lindsay needed some ‘adult' time. By the time his mothers decided that Pittsburgh was not a safe place to raise a child with gay parents, the two of them had become so close that neither one could imagine life without the other one in it. Now they had all come back to the U.S., settling in nearby Butler, about a half hour outside of Pittsburgh. It was close enough to be able to spend time with the family that they had missed so much, without being so close that the members of that family felt compelled to just stop by on a whim whenever the mood hit them. 

As he shouted to the cab driver that he needed to get to Allegheny Hospital as quickly as possible, he tried once again to reach Linds or Mel. He was sure when he got their voice mail that they had their phones turned off while in the hospital, and he tried to think of who he could call that would not queen out on him as soon as they heard his voice. Deb and Emmett were out of the question. He couldn't decide which one would scream the loudest if they realized that Justin was back in town.

As for Brian, well, they hadn't spoken in the last year and a half. That's how long it had been since the strain of their long distance relationship apparently had taken its toll on the tall brunette, and he stopped calling or coming to see him. Justin's stomach clenched as he thought about it. Even after all this time it still filled him with pain and longing when he let his mind drift to the man he still loved, would always love, and the fact that by moving away he had lost the only man he could imagine spending his life with.

He decided Ben would be calm and helpful, and he dialed his number, hoping that he had not changed it since he was gone. Ben answered on the first ring, shocked to see who was on the other end. "Justin", he quickly blurted into the phone, "is that really you?"

"Yeah, Ben , it's me," Justin replied, surprised with the effect that hearing Ben's voice had on him. "Lindsay called me, and I just got in. I am on my way to the hospital. What can you tell me about what's going on?"  
"It's not good," the older man sighed, his voice choked with sadness. "Gus slipped into a coma about an hour ago. He is in the pediatric ICU. He has viral encephalitis, and his temperature has been dangerously high. They have started anti-viral medications IV, as well as fluids to keep him hydrated. They have also begun steroids to reduce the swelling as well as anticonvulsants to keep him from having seizures until the steroids begin to take effect. "

Tears filled Justin's eyes, and spilled over, running down both cheeks as he sniffled into the phone. He lost Brian, and there was nothing he could do about that, but he couldn't lose Gus, too.  
"How are they holding up? Have you talked to Linds, or Mel?" Justin asked more calmly than he felt. "What about Brian, is he at the hospital, too? " Justin wanted to be prepared for what he was walking in to. Brian might not want him there, but he would need someone to be with him and comfort him. "Is Mikey there with him?"

"Yeah" Ben told him, "Mikey has been there all day. He just got Brian to go the cafeteria to get some coffee and get something in his stomach before he passes out. Brian has been there since early this morning, and has not left his son's side until now. The doctor's say it will be hours until they see any change, if he begins to respond to the medications. "

"Thanks Ben," Justin could barely stop the nausea that had risen in his throat. Ben had not said when he responded, but if. This was really serious. There was a real possibility that Gus could....no...he couldn't even think it. "We just pulled up to the hospital now. I'll talk to you soon, I guess".

"Sure thing. Be strong in there, I can't tell you what you might be walking in to. They are all out of their minds with worry, and who knows what that will look like”, Ben told the young blonde as he hung up the phone.

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Justin rounded the corner into the waiting room, and stopped short at what he saw. As he rushed over to the familiar blonde crying in a seat, being comforted by her wife and lover Mel, his fears got the best of him. He pulled Lindsay into an embrace, panicked as he asked the question he was afraid for her to answer. "Linds, is he..."

Lindsay wrapped her arms around his shoulders and sobbed, but quickly assured him, "No, no, Justin, he was just so restless that the docs thought it might be better if we came out here for a little while. They aren't sure if he can really hear us, but if he can, it might be upsetting him to hear us crying and talking. In fact, Ted and Carl took Debbie and Emmett home for a little bit. You know how they can be when their emotions run high. It was quite a circus out here for a while."

Justin sank into the chair with a sigh of relief, his heart beating so strongly in his chest that he was sure they could see it from the outside. "Why don't you go in to him, Justin," Mel said quietly, the turmoil and distress evident on her face. "If he can hear us, he'll want to know that ‘his Justin' is here with him. He loves you like a father. Hell, as far as we're all concerned, you have always been his father every bit as much as Brian."

Justin looked over at her, grateful for her words, and that he would be allowed to go in to see the boy for himself. Nothing would quiet his nerves until he saw him with his own eyes.  
He quietly walked towards the room where Gus lay so still and pale, and was almost inside when he heard Lindsay say "we'll be right over here if you need us. We will just try to rest a little bit while we know he is safely with you, so we will be wide awake and alert when he wakes up." Lindsay began crying softly once again, and Mel led her to the high backed seats in the corner, her arm wrapped protectively around her shaking shoulders.

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"Hey, little man," Justin whispered, as he pulled a chair over to the bedside. "You have us all pretty scared, you know?" He put his hand through the side-rail and took the little boys hand in his. His voice faltered as he continued to talk to this child who meant so much to him. "You just have to get better, you know. Our family just wouldn't be complete without you." He choked back a sob, not wanting to frighten the boy if he woke up, but couldn't stop his tears as they fell like raindrops down a window pane, leaving his line of sight blurry and his eyes red and bloodshot.

With his back to the door, he didn't see the man of his dreams, his Brian, come walking down the hall towards the room, and so he just kept talking, more out of nervousness than anything else, not quite sure that Gus was really hearing anything he said.

As Brian almost reached the doorway, he trembled as he looked up to recognize the beautiful blonde sitting by his son's bedside. He stopped without entering the room, close enough to hear what the younger man was saying.

"You know, you look so much like your dad" he said as he brushed a hair back from the child's forehead. "It's almost hard to look at your face sometimes, because I see him every time I do. But, that's also one of the many reasons that I love you so much, because I still love him so much. I think I always will. When you've found the one who completes you, your soul mate, the only one you can imagine growing old with, and then lose him, well...the love doesn't just go away. I don't know why he stopped coming, I guess it was just too much of a hassle to keep up with the trips to NY and the late night phones calls, and I guess I fooled myself when I believed I was enough for him. Oh hell, I don't know. All I do know is that I miss him so bad it actually hurts, and when I see you...it's like he's not really gone from my life. Please Gus, you have to be ok, ‘cause if I lose you , too, I don't think I could really go on." Justin's sobs tore through his body, causing his shoulders to shake with the effort.

Brian was nearly overcome as he saw the two people he had ever truly opened his heart to, one lying helpless, and the other so full of love and caring that his chest did a little flip. Watching Justin as he tenderly spoke to his son produced feelings in him that he could not put into words. He leaned back against the wall, feeling like his legs would not be able to hold him up if he tried to step away.

Could it be true? Was Justin still in love with him? How could Mikey, his life-long friend, have betrayed him like that? He told him that when he spoke to him, Justin said he wanted out, but that he just didn't know how to let his lover down easily? He had believed him, fuck, why wouldn't he? And so he had stopped calling, stopped going to see him, all for his own good, of course. He even stopped responding to his calls and emails, even though it almost killed him. He had been so lost and alone without him all this time, missing Justin so much that some days he could barely function.

As he tried to pull his thoughts together, Michael came walking down the corridor. Brian stepped up to him quickly, and grabbing him by the collar, pushed him back further into the waiting room. He almost growled as he said, "Michael, I can't deal with anything right now except making sure my son gets well, but at this very moment, I can't stand the sight of you. Get the fuck out of here. Go home to your professor and see if he can forgive you, ‘cause I'm not sure that I ever will."

Michael flinched. Brian never used his given name. What the fuck was going on. He turned his head to the side and gasped as he saw the blonde sitting in the chair in Gus's room. He knew that the gig was up, and somehow Brian knew what he had done. He opened his mouth to try to explain, looking up at the face of his oldest and dearest friend, and was startled with the anger and pain he saw there. "Not a word Mikey," Brian hissed, " there is nothing more to say. Just get the fuck away from me." Brian turned his back on Mikey and slowly walked back over to the door of his son's room, leaning in the doorway, unsure of what the fuck to do next.

Mikey turned to Mel and Lindsay, as his shoulders slumped in defeat. "Let me know how he is doing, will you?" he asked his shocked friends. He walked out of the hospital, and plopped on a bench outside, holding his head in his hands, and crying, wondering what he was going to do now. Somehow he had to find a way to make Brian understand.

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Justin was still speaking softly to the tiny form lying in the hospital bed, unaware that the man he was speaking about was now standing just outside the room, hearing everything he was saying. "I don't know how I am going to handle it little man, when I see your dad. I know he's here, and it won't be long. Somehow I have to prepare myself, ‘cause the last thing he will be able to tolerate is any hint from me of just how much he still affects me. I love him enough to be strong, to be whatever he needs me to be."

As the tawny haired young man continued to talk, still holding tightly onto the hand of the little boy he loved like a son, his mind wondered and he began speaking more to himself than to Gus, although he still hoped the youngster would become aware that he is there and be comforted.

"I think I can hold it together until you are out of the woods, because you are more important than anything, and none of us will be able to focus on anything else until we know you are safe. But I have no intention of leaving here until you are completely well again, and I have no doubt that your dad will be back to his old routine the minute the doctors tell us you are going to be ok, and that is what I am not sure I can handle."

"Sure, I’ve known all this time that he is probably back out there tricking every night, living his life as if we never existed, but seeing it will be another thing entirely. Better that, though, than the alternative. Brian ‘Fucking' Kinney and sex just go together, like Emmett and his flame, but if I find out that he has someone new in his life, well, that will be life a knife in my heart." He snickered to himself as he went on ..."if he only knew that I have been completely celibate since the last time he made love to me. Not even an anonymous trick in all this time since I realized that he had walked away from me... from us. I couldn't, I just couldn't, but I can just hear the sarcastic mockery, just imagine the ridicule that he will throw at me for being such a lesbionic twat."

As he heard this, Brian dropped the empty coffee cup that he had been unwittingly crushing in his hand. Justin's head turned to see what the sound was, and inhaled sharply as he saw Brian standing there gazing at him. He wasn't surprised to see the fear and emotion written on his face, he knew better than anybody how much this man loved his son. But there was something else, too. Surprise perhaps, at seeing him there, or could it be that he had heard his confession? Justin wasn't sure, but he felt almost dizzy with just the fact that Brian was there, in the same room, they were sharing the same air, and for once, he couldn't speak at all.

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"Justin," it was more of a sigh than a word, but Brian visibly (at least to Justin, that is) steeled himself, pulling himself together as he asked, "has there been any change?" 

"None since I arrived," Justin responded, his heart pounding as Brian walked over to stand next to him. The younger man stood, and as if by instinct, the two men embraced, gathering strength from each other, each knowing that the other one loved this child as much as he did.

They pulled apart abruptly, each aware of the electricity that ran through them as they touched, and that neither man was ready to contemplate. "How does this happen, Sunshine?" Brian huffed. "What kind of God let's a child suffer like this? Why couldn't it be me? I deserve anything the fates can throw at me. But Gus, he's just a little boy..." His words cut off with a sob as his fear and anxiety overwhelmed him, and he took a deep breath to compose himself once again.

"When did you get here? How did you find out?" Brian asked meaningless questions to keep himself from thinking about what he had heard just before Justin turned and saw him.

"Linds called me in the middle of the night, and I got the first flight in that I could. I got here about a half hour ago." Justin was glad for the small talk, allowing him the time he needed to push the heap of mush that his heart had become deep down inside himself, for Brian, as well as for himself. Within minutes, for all intents and purposes, both men were acting as if they had spoken to each other just yesterday, and nothing was amiss. They both stood silently by the bedside, not sure what to do with the awkwardness that was suddenly between them.

They were rescued from their discomfort when Lindsay and Mel came back into the room, and after a few minutes of planning, the four decided together that the moms would now stay with Gus for a while, as Brian went home to shower and change, and Justin called his mom and made arrangements to stay in their guest room until the crisis had passed. The dads would both be back within the hour, and in the meantime, the mothers would keep in touch by cell if anything changed.

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Brian pushed the button for the elevator, trying to squelch his aggravation that Justin would not accept a ride, insisting on taking a cab to his mother's. Perhaps it was better this way, he thought. Fuck me, I have no idea what to say to him, we have so much to talk about, but it will have to wait. Even then, I have no idea where to start. 

He opened the door to his loft, and his irritation turned into full blown rage as he entered to find Mikey sitting on the barstool at the kitchen island, still blubbering like a teenager. When the fuck was he going to grow up and become a man?

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Brian shouted, startling the dark haired man, who almost fell off the stool. "I thought I told you I didn't want to see your fucking face. What part didn't you understand, Michael? Did I use words that are over your head?...Get....out..... Is that simple enough for you to understand?"

"Briiiiiiaaaaannnn," the other man whined, causing the brunette to press his fingers to his nose, becoming aware that his head was beginning to pound. "You have to listen to me. I was only trying to save you from being hurt. That selfish prick was going to move on without you, find someone else, that's what he does. And then where would that leave you, huh? He didn't deserve the loyalty you were willing to give him while you waited for him to go off and shine in New York, and then leave you like he always did before."

Brian used every ounce of willpower that he had to keep from punching Mikey. He marched right over to him, getting so close to his face that he could see the veins in his eyes, which had grown to an enormous size, with fear and uncertainty written all over them. "Listen to me, Mikey. Are you listening?" He didn't even wait for the other man to nod, as he continued. "If you don't shut your stupid mouth, I won't be able to be responsible for what happens. You had no right, and I am no longer going to stand by and watch your juvenile insecurities and jealousy destroy the people in this family. Go home Mikey, and figure out what you really want. Because whether Justin ever forgives me or not, even if he can't and I never see him again, you and I ... we're through, Mikey. " He ran his fingers through his hair, and almost roared, " you and I were never going to sit on the porch on fucking rocking chairs, and I'm never going to be in love with you. And after what you've done, hell, we're not even friends any more. You've stepped over a line, you fucking self-centered prick, and I can't trust you anymore. Leave your key on the counter, and get out. NOW."

Brian looked incredulously as Mikey simply stood where he was. He took one step close to his former friend, looked him square in the eye, and bellowed, "I SAID NOW." He turned around and placed a hand on the counter, trying to regain his composure as he heard the metal clank onto the countertop, shuffling footsteps approach the door, and a sniffling voice almost whisper his name. He held out his hand behind him, not even turning around to face his former best friend, and a few seconds later he heard the loft door open, and then after a brief hesitation and more sniffling, slam shut again.

He stumbled towards the raised bedroom, throwing his clothes off one piece at a time, uncharacteristically leaving them lay wherever they fell. As he reached the shower stall, now completely naked and panting, he turned the water on as hot as he could stand it, and got in, hot tears joining the steaming flow as he let the water cascade over his head and down his body, wishing it could take the stress and pressure, disappointment and confusion with it down into the drain.

As he stood there, barely able to comprehend all that had transpired over the past few hours, he began to stroke himself, needing relief from the fear, and the frustration, but most of all, needing to do something to try to remove from his mind the image of the man that he loved more than he ever thought he could love anyone. The only problem with that was, the harder he got, and the closer he got to the orgasm he now desperately craved, the more firmly rooted the picture of Justin became in his brain. He groaned loudly as he felt his cock explode against the shower wall, then soaped and rinsed with no more delay, feeling no more sated than before he started.

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	2. Everything Old Is New Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone's eyes are open - in more ways than one

Across town, Justin sat in his mother's living room, relaying the string of events that had happened since he had arrived back in Pittsburg. Jen was distressed to hear that Gus was so ill, and took a moment to call Debbie to see how she was handling everything while she waited for the teapot to whistle. She didn't mention that her son was sitting only a few yards away from her, astutely aware that Justin would want to make his presence known in his own time, in his own way.

"Of course you can stay here Justin, " Jennifer quickly told her son. "I wouldn't have it any other way. Who besides me knows that you are in town?"

Justin glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. Had the situation been different, he might have been amused at the blatant attempt to pump him for facts, information he was sure she thought might help her find out if he had seen Brian yet. "Just Melanie, and Lindsay, and Brian," he said matter of factly, not giving her an opening to ask any more questions. "The four of us are going to meet back in Gus's room, and then decide a schedule from there, I guess, so that one of us is always in the room with him."

"Oh, Justin, do you think that's wise? After all, you're not really his..." Justin was grateful as he heard his cell phone ring, not wanting to hear the rest of what his mom had apparently decided needed to be said. After all this time, she still didn't understand that as far as he was concerned, and apparently the girls and Brian as well, Justin was just as much Gus's parent as any of them. The realization brought a new tear to his eye, as he looked down to see that the phone call was from Brian.

He answered with a start, afraid that he was about to hear news that he would not be able to handle. He sat down slowly as he heard Brian start to speak. "Justin, I'm on my way to pick you up" Brian told him. "No arguments...the doctors think that Gus is beginning to stir. I want all his parents there when he wakes up. I'll be there in five minutes. Later."

Justin didn't know what to react to first. Gus might be coming around, that was the best news he could get. Brian was coming to get him, acting like the last year and a half had never happened, and he would have to sit in the car with him for the trip back to the hospital , without letting on that he wanted nothing more than to jump into his arms, throwing his own arms around Brian's neck and hold on for dear life.

And then... what was that last thing he said? Later. The same word that they had used for so long, neither of them ever wanting to say good-bye again after the pain they had endured during their separations in the past. Always...later. But that was before Brian, what...left him, walked away, called it quits...no matter what you called it, they were over, and later held a promise that just didn't exist anymore. 

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The four anxious adults listened to the doctor as he told them that the swelling had gone down drastically, and it appeared that Gus was responding well to the medications. It would still be hours until he woke up completely, although the fluttering of his eyelids they had been noticing was definitely an indication that he was having periods of awareness of his surroundings. Still, they wouldn't know until he was fully awake if there had been any permanent damage done as a result of the high fever and the viral infection that had attacked the boys system.

As they had agreed, they took turns keeping watch at his bedside, alternating with trying to rest in the corner of the small waiting room and trips to the cafeteria for coffee and snacks to keep everyone energized.  
Every so often, Gus's eyes would open, and then just as quickly close again, and while the episodes seemed more and more frequent, there still didn't seem to be any deliberate movement or responsiveness to those around him.

It was almost noon the next day, nearly twenty four hours since Gus has first slipped into a coma, that he opened his eyes and looked around him. The first thing he saw was his dada, head down on the side of his bed as he gave in to his exhaustion, arm through the side-rails as he gently but firmly held onto his son's tiny hand.

It was his next sight, though, that provoked a reaction from the little boy. As Justin walked through the door to relieve Brian so he could catch a few winks, Gus suddenly rambled, "Justin, you're here! Dada, wake up, my Justin's here. Where are we Justin? This room smells funny and my head hurts. Why are you crying, Justin? Come closer. I want you to be over here with me. Please Justin." The youngster seemed to become more and more frightened as he became increasingly aware of his surroundings.

Brian awoke with a start, hearing his son's excitement at the same time as he realized how scared and confused the child was becoming. "Hey, that's a fine how do you do. What about me, Sonny-boy. What am I, chopped liver?" Brian tried to use humor to gently calm the young boy's fears.

"No, that's silly, Dada." Gus exclaimed as he smiled at the brunette rubbing his eyes at his bedside, "but I see you all the time. I haven't seen Justin in a long time. Not since the day after Mommy and Mama took me to see The Smurfs at the big theater. " 

Brian smiled to himself, glad that his son was awake, but wanting to gently help his son become more oriented. "I don't think so, Sonny-boy. That was only three weeks ago. I'm sure it's been much longer than that since you saw Justin. You'll be less confused as you wake up more, and I'm sure Justin will help you remember the last time you saw him."

Gus's bottom lip began to quiver, as he looked at his dad and a single tear made its way down his tiny face. "I did see him, dada. I did. Tell him Justin!"

Brian looked towards Justin, who had now taken a seat on the other side of Gus's bed. He raised one eyebrow, a silent plea for help in clearing up the misunderstanding.

"That's right, little man," Justin said quietly, letting his eyes make contact with the deep pools of hazel that sat across from him. He looked down almost immediately, not wanting to let the other man see the emotions that he knew were written across his face. "We went to McDonald's and you got a Papa Smurf in your Happy Meal."

Brian's head snapped up in surprise. "You were here? Here in Pittsburg? Why didn't anyone say anything to me?"

"No, Brian, I was in Butler, at the girls' house. I go as often as I can get away to visit with Gus. There was nothing I could do when you walked away from - us, but I damn sure wasn't going to let Gus think that our break-up made any difference between him and me. He needed to know that he was just as important to me as he always was, and that nothing could ever change how much I love him!" Justin said with more irritation than he meant to, not wanting to do anything to upset the boy, or to reveal more than he needed to know at his age about the ‘big people' drama going on around him.

"I am going to go tell the girls that Gus is awake, and then have the nurse alert the doctor as well." Justin said firmly, letting the brunette know without a doubt that the rest of this discussion would have to wait.  
As Brian watched him walk away , he realized that even after all this time, this man who had stolen his heart still had the uncanny ability to astonish and amaze him.

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The two men sat at the concrete picnic table, eyes locked one moment, and averted the next. The doctor had arrived about a half hour after Justin had spoken to the charge nurse, and with a smile that reached all the way to his eyes, told the four parents standing right outside the child's room that he couldn't be more pleased with Gus' progress, and the fact that he recognized everyone and was carrying on quite the little conversations with everyone around him made him sure that there was no reason to think that there would be any long term neurological damage from his ordeal.

Mel and Lindsay wanted to spend some time alone with the child, and with all that had transpired, Brian and Justin were anxious to clear the air between them as well. They went to the cafeteria to grab a bite to eat, taking it outside where they could have more privacy to speak their peace.

Now that they were alone, however, neither knew exactly where to begin.

"How long have you been going to see Gus?" Brian asked, still stunned at how much better Justin was at this parenting thing than he thought he would ever be. "How often do you see him?"

Justin looked at the beautiful man across the table from him. Even after all this time apart, Brian could still make his heart beat faster and his breath catch in his throat. "I never stopped. I see him at least once a month, sometimes more often if he has something special he wants to do or an activity he wants me to attend. "

"I never thought I would be a father, and I know that Gus is not really my son, but he counts on me, and I made up my mind a long time ago that I would never let him down like my dad did me. "

"It was very important to me that he know that nothing could change how much I love him. I tell him all the time that he can tell me anything, and that I may not always understand or agree, but I will always listen, and not judge him."

Brian sighed as the corners of his mouth curled up into a smile. "I may be his father by nature, Justin. But no one could be a better father to that little boy than you. How did you pull this off all this time without me knowing about it?" Brian asked incredulously.

"I always talked with the girls before I made my plans, so that I could avoid overlap with your schedule. The last thing I wanted to do was interfere with your time with Gus, or make things uncomfortable by showing up at the same time you did. I knew that you didn't want me in your life anymore, and I tried to find a way to accept that. But I had to be sure that Gus knew that was between you and me, and had nothing whatsoever to do with him."

Brian ran his fingers through his hair, and left his fingers press across the bridge of his nose. He had no idea how to tell Justin what Michael had done, hell, he didn't understand any of it himself.

"Justin," Brian began, " do you remember the last time we saw each other? I had come up to New York for a three day week-end. You ended up having to work two of the days I was there and we hardly saw each other. I was so fucking disappointed, but I knew that you couldn't really help it. Then, right after I got back, Mikey came up for that Comic Book convention and stayed at your place. "

"Yeah, I remember that. We didn't see each other very much because I had to work that week-end, too. My art had not taken off yet, and so I had to keep the jobs at both the gallery and the deli in order to pay for my apartment and my studio time. " Justin responded.

"Yeah, well," Brian continued, " he made it sound like you spent more time together that week-end than you apparently did. Then he came back and told me that we needed to talk. He told me that you wanted out, that the long distance thing was not working out for you, and that I was holding you back. He said that you told him that we had too much history for you to hurt me, and that you didn't know how to let me down easily. "

Justin's eyes flashed with a series of emotions that Brian could easily read, one at a time, as if some strange slide show was playing out right in front of him...shock, then confusion, hurt and then righteous indignation, leading up to the one he was seeing right now...total, combustible anger.

"Who the fuck does he think he is to play with people lives the way he does? We never had any such conversation. In fact, the only thing I can remember saying to him at all was that I couldn't wait until my artwork started supporting me, so that I could prove to you that I had met your goal, and I could come home. I hated being away from you...I still do. " 

The last part was whispered so low that Brian almost didn't here it. 

Almost.

"What are you saying, Sunshine? " the nickname flowing over his lips as easily as it ever did.

"I'm saying that even though you always told me I was free to do whatever I wanted, I knew you would never let me come home until I showed you that I had taken full advantage of the time and opportunities available in New York. Hell, I wanted to come home from the day I got there. Truth be told, I never wanted to get on that fucking airplane that morning at all. If it was up to me, we'd be an old married couple by now, living the life of my dreams. Because all my dreams are centered around you. Wherever you are will always be home for me."

Brian stood up and walked around to the other side of the table, pulling Justin up into his arms, wrapping them around him and running his fingers through the silky blonde hair he had missed so much. "You have no idea how much I have missed this. Missed us! It almost killed me to walk away from you. I've been like an empty shell, because my heart and soul were somewhere in New York with you. I love you, Justin. Always have, always will."

The two men remained in their embrace, tears of joy flowing unrestrained, and the future brighter with possibility than ever before. 

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By the next day, Gus was sitting up in bed, and the IV had been removed. The doctor said he wanted to keep him for one more day to be sure there was no set-back, and then tomorrow he could go home.

Without the distraction of worry and fear, Mel and Lindsay began to notice that something was going on with Gus's two dads. Lindsay was the first to bring it up.

"So, Justin, now that Gus is out of the woods, do you have a plan for when you will be returning to New York? I'm sure that you have a lot of time to make up for having been down here for so many days. "

Justin looked back at her, the color rising in his cheeks as Brian stood by his side, tongue in cheek. "Actually, Lindsay, I do have a plan," he revealed. "A very specific plan, to be exact. "

"Oh," the two ladies sang in chorus. "Do tell," Mel said, sure of what Justin would say next, but not at all comfortable about how her partner was going to take the news.

"I am moving back to Pittsburgh," Justin told them, his face almost glowing from the joy he was finding it hard to contain. "I will stay until Gus is home and completely recuperated. Then , Brian and I are going up to New York to pack up my things. I have already spoken to a realtor who has someone to sublet my apartment, although I am going to keep my studio to use when I have to go back for shows or meetings. There is a separate bedroom and a kitchen area, and that's all we will need for the short trips that we will need to make from time to time. "

"But...we...Justin, have you really thought this through?" Lindsay asked, feeling the color drain from her face. "You need to be where the action is, where your dreams can come true, and Pittsburgh is not it."

"That may have been your dream, Lindsay, but it's not mine. All my dreams begin and end right here, in Brian's arms. He's all I've ever wanted, and I wish I had never let you convince me to leave in the first place. But I did, and it taught me a lot. Now I know that I never want to be away from him again."

Mel put her arm around her partner saying, "come on, let's go take a walk. I think these two have more time to make up for. We'll be back in about a half an hour, and then you two can go plan your future. I'm sure that there are some, ummm, details, that you have not gotten to explore yet, with Gus being sick. Maybe you want to go back to the loft and...clean up or something." 

Mel could barely contain her amusement. She was genuinely thrilled that the two men had found their way back to each other. She had known that they were each miserable without the other, and that nothing could fix it until they were back in each other's arms.

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	3. No Barriers To The Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ok folks this is it - Brian and Justin...doing what they do...

Brian and Justin walked hand in hand into the building on Tremont St where they had shared so much of their lives. As the elevator climbed to take them to the loft, their hands remained entwined, neither man willing to lose contact for even a second.

"So much wasted time, " Brian lamented, "so much unnecessary pain." Justin reached up and pushed his fingers gently against the brunette's amazingly beautiful lips. "Shhhhh, no looking back, ok?" Justin said. "From now on we only look forward."

"When I heard you tell Gus that you hadn't been with anyone else since me, well, not really tell Gus, I sure hope he couldn't hear you, " Brian babbled, hardly able to keep his thoughts in focus, "anyway, when you first said that, I thought I must have heard you wrong."

"Brian, it's ok. I made my choice, but I have no delusions about what you were doing while we were apart, and it's ok, really." Justin tried to reassure his reclaimed love.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you, Sunshine, always willing to make excuses for me, loving me despite my rather long list of shortcomings. To know that you were so committed to loving me that you couldn't be with anyone else, well, that means more to me than you will ever know. "

"You're all I want, Brian. There is no one else. For me I'd rather not have some second rate trick who will never measure up, leaving me unsatisfied and feeling more alone than ever. But I know that will never be enough for you, and I accept that. Just please don't bring it home to our bed, ok?"

"Will you stop talking and listen to me for a minute?" Brian pinched the blonde's lips gently, then reached over to brush a kiss lightly across where his fingers had been. He looked at the gorgeous man smiling back up at him, as he placed his tongue in his cheek, feeling playful and happier than he had in longer than he could remember. 

Justin felt his knees buckle at the touch of Brian's lips to his. The brunette no longer had to worry about interruptions, since Justin was suddenly incapable of putting any thought together to make a cohesive sentence. What Brian said next took the wind right out of him, and he thought he might actually have fallen over had Brian not had one arm wrapped tightly and protectively around him. 

"There has been no one for almost a year, Justin. It took me a little while, but I came to the realization that once you've made love, truly made love with all your heart and soul, well, random sex will never, ever be enough again. " He could barely believe how much like a breeder he sounded, but after all they had been through, he couldn't take a chance by holding anything back.

"Sure, I admit that at first, I tried to go back to the way it was before I met you. I fucked everyone I could, night after night, and the more I did, the more I missed you. It almost drove me crazy. It got to the point where I would have to come home and jack off, picturing you right here with me, no matter how many men I had been with each night. " Brian smirked, and his cheeks began to turn pink with embarrassment. "I even hired a cute little blonde hustler...but that didn't work either, because it wasn't you."

"Eventually, I realized that nothing, no one, was going to satisfy me and I didn't want to go out anymore. The guys will tell you, I haven't been in the backroom , haven't hooked up with any hotties from the dance floor. In fact I haven't been to Babylon at all except to take care of things in the office. I'm sure they all think that I have been taking my ‘guests' up there, but the last one up there naked on the couch... was you." 

Brian looked down, uncomfortable now that his soul had been laid bare.

Justin leaned over and kissed him gently, trying to take his mind off of all that he had just revealed. As soon their lips touched however, they both pressed into it, and the kiss turned fiery and hot, quickly deepening as their passion began to boil over. Their tongues met as they both gave in to their need to be as close as they possible, wanting to be joined any way they could. Their hand and mouths roamed with unbridled abandon, igniting their passions even more.

"Brian," Justin growled, "I need...I want...Brian...please...!" He was almost delirious with need, the joy of touching him and being touched by him, of smelling his unique scent, of feeling the pleasure that only Brian could give him, it was all too much. "Please, Brian, make me feel whole again."

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Brian started backing up towards the raised bed where they had poured out their passion so many times in the past. His legs hit the steps and he had to reach out to steady himself as he tried to get up the stair still attached to Justin at the lips.

They reached the bed, and Justin began fumbling with the buttons on his own shirt. Brian gently pushed his hands away, moaning against the younger man's neck as he breathed out, "mine." He sensuously removed Justin's shirt, and then his shoes, his socks, and then his pants, so slowly that it was almost like torture. Justin was making little mewling sounds that went straight to Brian's cock.

Still fully clothed himself, he lay Justin back on the bed, working his cock so gently and slowly with his hand that Justin thought he just may lose his mind. He could no longer speak, couldn't even think, and if Brian didn't stop he was going to cum before Brian had even taken one article of clothing off.

"Brian, oh , aghhhhh, Brian, fuck... I can't...I'm gonna'...Brian please..." Justin's head was thrashing side to side, as he grabbed fistfulls of the sheet that lay under him.

"Cum for me, Sunshine " and as he finished the words Justin arched, and screamed Brian's name, his release so explosive that he thought he might have blacked out for a moment. 

As he lay there panting and trying to regain his breathing, he looked up at Brian, tears welling up in his eyes. "So much for our first time, the second time around. " Justin snickered. "That was amazing, but I got all the pleasure. "

"You needed to get off like that, or our first time as you put it, would have lasted about 20 seconds. " Brian actually giggled, and the sound was like music to Justin's ears.

"Ok, your turn, " Justin said, reaching up to pull at Brian's t-shirt, lifting it over his head, as he sat up and took first one, and then the other of his nipples into his mouth, sucking until they were hardened nubs, biting down until Brian cried out, and then licking the pain away ever so gently.

Brian was not usually very loud, or very verbal during sex, but he was so overcome with the feeling that he began to moan, soft little whimpers that had Justin already growing hard once again.

"I agree that we need to take the edge off," Justin with a smile, as he removed Brian's pants. He palmed his lover's erection, and Brian thought he just might cum right then. How did he go without this for so long? He felt Justin remove the last of his clothing, and then felt his thumb rub across the slit, and once again he arched, and moaned. "I think we will have to keep going long into the night to make up for lost time, don't you?" 

This was exquisite torture, the pleasure almost painful as it overwhelmed his senses, and thoughts of what he and Justin could, no would be doing over the next few hours only fueled his arousal. Justin licked his palm and grabbed Brian's pole in his hand, stroking up and down, up and down, and on the third time, Brian howled, and cursed, and shouting Justin's name, began to spurt over and over, the thick lines of cum hitting Justin's face and chest, and he licked as much of it as he could.

As their breathing calmed, both men lay back with both of their heads on one pillow. Justin turned to face Brian, and almost immediately they began kissing once again, long, toe-curling, passionate kisses that left them both breathless and gasping for air.

Brian's hand reached up to trail a path down his face, caressing his neck in all the places he knew always made him crazy with desire. He let his fingers plunge to Justin's chest, rubbing circles around one nipple, then the other, as he reached over to place his mouth over the now neglected one. He sucked in hard, grazing his teeth along the hardened nub, and then bit down. Justin began shaking, he was so overcome with lust as Brian let his tongue sooth the hurt, and then moved over to bite the other one.

As his hand continued its descent, passing right by the now engorged cock , he ran his fingers up and down both of Justin's thighs. He smiled to himself as the blonde gasped, trying desperately to maneuver himself so that some part of Brian's body would make contact with his throbbing member.

"Uh, uh, uh, first things first, little boy," Brian teased as he poured some of the lube from the bedside table into his hand, working it onto his fingers. Pushing Justin's knees apart, he leaned over to swipe his tongue across the puckered opening, causing Justin to buck and thrust hard against his face. He used his tongue to replicate the movement he really wanted another certain body part to be doing...and soon... as he heard the blonde beauty begin to chant his name. He replaced his tongue with his well lubed fingers, inserting one, and then quickly a second, and then a third, hitting the little bundle of nerve endings with each thrust as his fingers pistoned in and out with abandon.

Nearly out of his mind with passion and lust, Justin tried to communicate his need, but could barely utter one word at a time..."aghghhhh, Bri...please...need...need you inside. Brian...Bri...fuck me...now."  
Brian reached beside him to take a condom from the bowl that was always within easy reach, even though he hadn't needed it in months. As he placed the corner in his mouth, however, wanting nothing more than to get the damn thing open and rolled onto his swollen dick, Justin took the unopened condom from him, holding it in the palm of his hand. 

At first the older man thought that Justin was asking him to hold off on his goal of fucking the beautiful boy....no beautiful man... into the mattress, intending instead to take the honor of the first fuck for himself. He was so out of control that he thought he might actually let him. His eyebrow rose in confusion, however, as he heard his lover say once more, "Please Brian...need to feel you...have to..fuck me..."

Brian growled with frustration. ""Then give me the damn condom, Sunshine. Fuck. If I can't get inside that hot little ass of yours, I just might go crazy."

"No," Justin almost screamed, startling the other man as he threw the condom across the room. "I want to feel YOU...just YOU. "

Brian's hazel eyes became mere slits, as they darkened with desire and hunger, understanding suddenly dawning on him. "You know it's safe, Brian. You're all I want, all I'll ever need. "

Brian twisted himself around until he was on his knees, then momentarily sat back on his feet, looking at the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. "Are you sure?" He knew that this moment would change everything. Was his young lover really ready to commit the rest of his days to fucking only him?

"I've never wanted anything more," Justin almost whispered. "Please, Brian. I need to feel you inside me."

Brian lined up his turgid member with Justin's rosebud. He pushed forward until just the head was inside, trying to identify the feral sound he was hearing, before realizing the sound was coming from him.

"Aghghhhh, Jus...it feels...incredible. Nothing...has ever felt like this." He groaned, straining to maintain his composure as he pushed himself further inside in response to Justin's hand on his thigh, urging him on.

"More....I need more," he heard underneath him, and he pushed forward further still, until he was buried to the hilt, and almost unable to breath from all the unbelievable sensations that were coursing through his body. "Oh God, Brian...I had no idea it would feel like this." 

A single tear ran down the side of Justin's face, and Brian leaned down to lick it away, pressing his lips down onto the younger man's forcefully, their tongues dueling for position as they struggled to hold off their impending orgasms, neither man willing to let this end.

Using every ounce of control he could muster, Brian began a steady rhythm, rocking back and forth, overwhelmed with the exquisite sensations that were flowing through his body. He was mesmerized by the look of pure delight showing on Justin's face. He couldn't believe the difference being without that thin layer of latex could make. If Justin was experiencing even a portion of what he felt...God...he just wanted the feeling to go on forever.

He reached out to take Justin's pulsing hardness in his hand. As he moved his thumb back and forth over the slit, he watched in fascination as Justin arched, and with a look of pure bliss, his seed spilled over into Brian's hand.

Justin gasped, calling out Brian's name. Brian groaned in return as the muscles surrounding his cock clamped down, and his own orgasm ripped through him with a blinding whiteness behind his eyes, like nothing he had ever experienced before. "Ahhhhh, Justin...oh fuck...this is un-fucking-believable. " Justin watched in awe as his lover's face contorted in pleasure and passion, thrilled beyond belief to know that he was the one who put that look there. Nothing would ever be so beautiful!

"Oh, God, Brian, Brian, Bri...God, that feels so amazing! It's so warm, and so...Brian...nothing has ever felt like this." The two men lay together, Brian still inside, and in no hurry to change that, basking in all that their lovemaking had been.

Brian looked down into the pools of blue that were beginning to spill over, tears running over Justin's cheeks and into his neck. "What is it, Sunshine? Did I hurt you, are you ok?"

"I've never been better in my entire life," enthused the blonde. " It's so wonderful to be back."

"Back? Back where exactly, huh?" Brian asked, his tongue slipping into his cheek, and his lips curled up into a grin.

"Back home, " Justin answered, "where I belong. Back in your arms. From now until the end of our days, home is wherever you are!" "I love you, Brian."

"I love you, too, Justin. I love, you, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END...of the beginning!

**Author's Note:**

> Notes:  
> Disclaimer: I neither own, nor have financial stake in absolutely any property of Cowlip Productions, or any other copyrighted material included here. My stories are written for entertainment only, so that we can continue to enjoy these beloved characters.


End file.
